It’s Sunday morning, and we have no plans for the day. We’re all collectively pottering around doing our own thing. We’ve had a big week and we’ve all got sniffles, sneezes and allergies bugging us.Many would say it’s one of those days that are great for staying in pyjamas, laying around the house and a little self care.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for relaxed days at home and no plans, but I find if I stay in pyjamas all day I feel “blah”. My spirits and outlook on the day are always lifted when I slip on some fresh clothes, wash my face and pop on some lipstick even if I’m not leaving the house.
This morning whilst still in my pyjamas Sarah came out of her bedroom wearing one of her “fancy dresses”, when she turned her back to me, flicked her hair aside and asked if I would do the buttons up on the back of her dress.
As I reached out to make a start on the first button I heard myself say to her:
“Baby we aren’t going out today you might find it more comfy wearing something else you can lie around in with the sniffles and cough you have.”
“I know mum, I just want to wear it and feel good.”
Hearing Sarah’s response, I straight away gave myself a mental slap upside the head. Why did I just say that? I’m forever telling people that a little effort and self care in the morning with what you wear can do wonders for your well-being.
It only took another split second for me to fill with happiness and pride and realise that Sarah is learning from example. The example of self care she sees me honouring myself with each day has become second nature to her.
Beyond basic self-care of brushing teeth, bathing, her self-care and connection to how it makes her feel has become habit. It explains her announcement every weekend that she is getting ready for the day and emerges from her room with a complete styled outfit including bag and accessories ready to attack the world and the day with a smile on her face – even if we don’t have plans.
For several weeks I have been trying to find the words to share my feelings about the importance of self-care in mothers and the impact it has on our families and our children. In one single sweet moment this morning Sarah gave me the words in her actions. Actions that are a reflection of an example being set for her, an example that will continue to positively impact her well being and attitude to life.
It’s such a significant reminder that change really does start at home.
We hear so many stories in the media about issues that are affecting children, teens and young adults these days. Parents are worried about questionable behaviours from their children, that show little regard or concern for the value of their personal safety, bodies and their health.
Just as the habit of self care is learned through example, so is the habit of not caring for oneself. As parents we are the influence in our children’s lives and where they learn their value and how to value themselves. If they see we don’t care about our appearance, our safety, our health how can we expect them to take us seriously when we preach otherwise to them.
The bottom line is as parents we have to practice what we preach.
We are always questioning ourselves about how we can best raise children who are comfortable and confident within themselves and most us wish this for our children. Children, teens and young adults who value themselves, their appearance, their bodies and their safety are those who will care to make positive change in the future to benefit others.
As parents we need to set the tone and be the example of deep self care, and we need to start with ourselves, because our children are watching! My preferred “positive style of self care” is with clothing and how that impacts how I feel, motivates and inspires me whilst allowing me to express myself creatively.
We aren’t all the same and another persons preferred style of self care may be in how they take care of the their body through exercise and diet so they are able to achieve happiness and strength. Self-care isn’t limited by these two examples, in actual fact deep self-care really is limitless and is as unique as YOU.
It’s about what what makes you feel like YOU!
This is why I am so passionate about wanting to help and connect with others who are yearning to improve their self care. After eight years of journeying through trauma, grief and post traumatic stress the best way I have found to improve my personal well-being has been through honouring my preference in creative expression in my personal style.
I know through my life experiences and challenges I’ve been able to influence positive change in my life and my children’s lives, by being the example of self care and self love.
I want this for you and I want this for all children. I am here to do that the best way I know how.
Can I urge you today, tomorrow and everyday to put your needs and self-care on the list as a priority and watch it have a profound affect on you, your children and those around you.
You deserve it, and your children deserve it!